How to Be Romantic
I bet you’re wondering how ‘simple living’ and ‘how to be romantic’ are connected right? Let me explain. One of the tenets of simple living is to redirect the energy you aren’t spending on unimportant things to parts of your life that ARE important. For me, those important parts are my relationships.
And perhaps even more importantly I’m here to tell you that being romantic can be simple enough that you can do it every day. What marriage wouldn’t be better with more romance, more connection? I’m trying to learn how to be romantic in simple ways.
Let me frame this for you. I’ve been in a committed relationship for 20 years (married for 15). My husband is my best friend in the world. Our relationship is one of the most important commitments I’ve taken on in my life. It’s also the very easiest to take for granted.
I’ve heard the cry “he’s just not romantic” more times than I can count from friends. I’ve said it myself. As women we assume that we are the experts on romance and men are not. But I got to thinking are we really? Perhaps a new mindset and a few simple actions are all it takes for both sides of a couple to really feel the romance.
Romance is different for everyone and every couple. What would be meaningful and awesome to one couple is corny and ridiculous to another. I usually find inspiration when I read about how other people do things. Below you’ll find my best ideas on how to be romantic.
True Romance is Knowing the Person You Love the Best
My husband hates mayo and velvet. He loves spicy foods and sci-fi movies. I can order his sandwich or his burrito just the way he likes it. And he can do the same for me. Figuring out how to be romantic is easy if you strive to remember the little things about the person you love.
True romance is paying attention to all those little details that might not matter to anybody else. I always feel special when he remembers that I like a lot of pickles on my sandwich or that he cooks me breakfast in the morning so I don’t forget to eat.
Remember Happy Times
I hope that every couple has special memories. Times that you felt so happy together you could burst. I think remembering those times helps you feel romantic towards your partner no matter how long you’ve been together. Remember those times out loud with your partner or make a little gesture that helps you both remember.
Want to know what a very romantic night looked like for me a lot of years ago? Tortilla chips, queso dip, strawberry milk, my sweetie, and the X-Files. Weird right? But that’s what we did when we were first dating and had no money in college.
To this day, when either of us brings home chips, dip, and a carton of strawberry milk we remember our little Friday night tradition. It’s silly, but it’s romantic to me. It takes me back to the very beginning of our relationship.
Inside Jokes are Awesome
Conversations in our house routinely include nerdy quotes and tidbits from movies or TV shows we have watched together. Usually, it’s stuff we find particularly funny. Funny things the kids have said through the years are often quoted. All these things are like our own inside jokes.
Laughing together is romantic. You’re feeling good with the person you love.
Music is Powerful
Always remember that music is good for romance. Nearly every couple I know has “their song.” People can usually remember music from special dates, nights out dancing, songs playing for that first kiss, and weddings.
Take those songs and play them when you need a moment of romance.
Put In A Little Extra Effort
It doesn’t matter what we’re talking about here. It’s really easy to take your partner for granted over time. Remember how much you fussed over them or with getting yourself ready when you were first dating? Hold that thought.
Nothing is more romantic to me than when I know a lot of thought and/or effort was put into something for me.
When people think of romantic gestures, it’s usually expensive and over the top (fancy dinners, trips, jewelry, electronic gadgets).
I find that the simplest stuff is usually the best – a really great scramble for breakfast, a back rub, 15 minutes of technology-free conversation (this includes TV, laptops, cell phones, video games, tablets, etc).
Simple (and Cheap!) Ideas for Romance
- Two words – mix tape (or CD or playlist for the more modern among us).
- Tuck a love note into a brown bag lunch, briefcase, or laptop bag. For us girls, put on some bright lipstick and kiss the note. Then spray it with your perfume or cologne.
- Show up at his/her work with a cupcake…or take him/her out to lunch.
- Do one of his/her most hated chores.
- Pack his/her lunch…make it “fancy”. My version of “fancy” is to include a cloth napkin, pack an amazing sandwich, a special dessert, and include a note.
- Write a list of all the reasons you love him or her. Send a text each day with one of them or just hand over the whole list one day.
- Dress up for your partner…for no reason other than you love him/her.
- Bring your partner breakfast in bed.
- Back rubs!
How do you create romance in your relationship? I want to hear all those wonderful ‘how to be romantic’ ideas you’ve got!